Relationships these days are hardcore currencies we can't live without. So says society.
You have probably heard the overused maxim: ‘Your network is your net worth’. Which basically implies that it's not really the money in your account that matters, but the people you have around you, and what they can do for you. It's like if you don't have a circle who can show up with a million naira each on the day of real adversity then you need to change that circle.
A while ago, a popular, garrulous, vibrant, influencer shared a post about what happened when he asked his contact list to ‘borrow’ him a million naira each. These contacts were all famous actresses, singers and content creators, all firmly established within the entertainment scene. They were more than happy to lend him a million naira each and even more. A particular actress quickly parked her car to transfer the money until he revealed it was a prank. Of course the purpose of such an ostentatious showcase transcended beyond a display of admirable generosity. It was a more of a demonstration that a repository of amazing and rich friends could show up for him anytime, any day.
Well, isn't that what dreams are made of?
I grew up with a father who used to say ‘Eyan laso mi.’ For the benefit of the non-yorubas, the full meaning and implication of that statement simply means. People are my clothes. They will cover me when I'm naked. I practically despised that maxim. I believed that it was the spawn, of complex over-dependence, something I was determined to avoid like it was another variant of the coronavirus. I believed in independence, autonomy and freedom. In hindsight my early life experiences with humans weren't so great, so it's no surprise that I tried to glide through life guardedly, avoiding as much human contact as possible. The world transitioning into remote work made that process a lot more simplistic and seamless. And for me, I was on the right path. Or so I thought.
I make it a habit to read biographies, memoirs and autobiographies as much as I can because not only do I have the deepest admiration for true human stories, I also believe there is much to learn from them. And a connecting thread that I've come to find amongst these stories is that no one gets to the top alone. Everyone has dreams, but a dream is easier to execute when you have a team that unapologetically believes in you. It could be the thriving bond of familial love, heart wrenching sacrifices and true commitment from parents and siblings. Friends who toot the horn of one of their own, when they are standing in the rooms that matter, or even the inexplicable, unprecedented kindness of total strangers.
So in essence, what am I saying dear reader? I'm saying that I've learned that the best way to build meaningful a relationship is to understand why you need meaningful relationship. I'm saying that no matter how individualistic we try to make our lives seem, we still need someone. We need people who can see us, understand us, and believe in us. I'm saying that no matter the level of autonomy you think you have, reaching the top might be one hell of an arduous, herculean task if you haven't learned to pour into your relationships.
No matter how much the world tries to romanticize the individual life, time after time, age after age, and in all generations we get to see that we are stronger when we are unified with those thrumming with the same convictions we have. I'm not saying you shouldn't maintain your identity and individuality.
All I'm saying is:
Choose to stay unified.
Choose to walk on this voyage you are blessed to call life, with like minds, and you'll be surprised at the glittery floodgates that will open up before you.
As always I'm rooting for you forever and for always.
